Checked out Foxnews.com today to see the following blurb down at the bottom.There is a post I’ve been wanting to make here, and this prompted me to make a midday post about it.

I think we has a society have lost the ability to have a tough conversation. When somebody says something we don’t agree with we call them mean or intolerant. Sometimes we question their wisdom or maturity. All of those are really thought stopping replies to squash the conversation. I think this is the core reason why churches have started to slip into doctrinally unsafe areas and is a solid contributer to divorces. Churches are afraid of being called mean or intolerant so they are afraid to call sin what it is. Sin. It is against the will of God. The end result being that sin isn’t sin, but just a different way of life. In marriages, couples find it easier to leave than to sit down and work it out (in a sometimes heated way) through conversation. Talking is hard, but the consequences of not talking will be even harder to deal with.

I think this is one thing that causes me trouble with churches. I’m honestly not afraid to have the tough conversation. Because I know at the end of the conversation both I and the person I’m talking to will be closer to what Christ wants from us. They at times think I’m mean or intolerant, but generally they look down on my wisdom or maturity. Thats life. I’m OK with that.

This is actually one thing I have really liked about the Batavia Church of Christ, when my family and I first went there we were ignored. I can’t put it in a positive light… it was bad. So I got in touch with their minister and then the person who heads the welcoming ministry. I shared my thoughts and they accepted them very willingly. They didn’t take it as an attack, because it wasn’t. They took it as a guy wanting what was best for BCC and more importantly the people who walk through their doors.

Another church that was a very good example of this is the Loveland Christian Church. I visited their a few months back because I’m friends with a few of their staff members and I wanted to see how their welcoming ministry was. We walked into a crowded room and were spotted by a person and then taken to the children’s check in area… that was such a bad experience. When you have four children to sign it that can be a burden. So I emailed my friends and let them know what I thought of it, and they were VERY appreciative of some true and honest feedback. They tell me its fixed… one of these days I’ll go there and find out. Again they could have taken it as an attack, but they took it as a chance to improve.

We, especially we as a church, need to learn to be able to have a tough conversation and to take some critiques from people that may even annoy you. Because if they took the courage to say something then it must be important to them.

Over the past few weeks I’ve been listening to a teaching series from North Point Community Church, called “Practically Speaking.”

I highly recommend any person that has an active role in their church to listen to this. It really challenged a lot of my thoughts about church life, and it reinforced my thoughts at times.

Lesson two and three hit me the most. Lesson two was as if somebody had walked behind me and critiqued the Batavia Church of Christ as we walked through their doors the first few weeks. Lesson three was as if somebody watched my life for the past year and saw what went astray at a previous church in relation to my family attending their.

I’ve always been a strong believer that not every church will be for everybody. There are some churches that would be the worst place in the world for me. There are some churches that would be OK for me to be at. There are then some churches that are exactly what I need. And the truth is that this can change over time. For example I really do feel that at the beginning the previous church was where I needed to be at. I think my time there was an overall net positive. I was used to lead a man to Christ. Then it went to it being an OK place to be at, and was quickly heading toward it being the worst place for me. Had we stayed longer it probably would have went back through the cycle… it may not have.

You can go listen to this series from the website focused on it. This is really a must listen for folks in any form of leadership capacity.

This has been on my mind for some time and I’ve only now had the time to put my thoughts to pen.

God or Satan? Who is to blame when things don’t go well compared to our plans?

I’ve actually seen this in every church I’ve been a member in, things go bad and its obviously Satan working against us because things are just not going awesome.

But is it obviously Satan or obviously God? OK, before I even crack open my Bible to give this some credibility I say its obviously God. What??? Yes that is what I said. If things don’t go like you want them I put the ‘blame’ on God.

God is the beginning and the end. The alpha and omega. He is the great I AM. Without God nothing is possible, with God everything is possible.

When it came to Job the devil had to get permission to harm Job in any way. However the scriptures that stick out to me are:

Romans 8: 31b-32:
If God is for us, who can be against us? 32He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things?

Acts 5: 38b-39
For if their purpose or activity is of human origin, it will fail. 39But if it is from God, you will not be able to stop these men; you will only find yourselves fighting against God.”

If God is for something it will not fail. If God is against it then it may fail and I think people would serve God well by not blaming Satan, but by asking themselves what are thing doing against God’s will!

I think with this approach you look much less arrogant and you will only improve your ‘failing’ or ‘struggling’ effort. You can always improve to be closer to God’s will. If you think not, then think deep because you have just exposed the root of your problem.

That reason right there is why abortion is wrong. This was the picture of a baby born at 21 weeks and has been sent home from the hospital. Look at the size of those feet and this child is on its way home.

 

 

 

 

Well November 7th was a downer to me. I hope the Republicans reply well to this though, because in 2008 the war will basically be over. So lets hope they remember their base. Me. Die hard conservative. I vote strait republican. As I put it, I’d rather have a bad republican over a good democrat. However if the Republicans get to bad I’ll just not vote on politicians and vote issues.

I really wonder who will be running for president, not the dozen that will show interest but the two that actually face off.

I also wonder how ignorant people can be. Democrats had ad’s that said, “The republicans have let you down and you need change.” What they failed to mention, and what people didn’t think through was that the change they are considering is worse than any republican policy they have faced.

• Tax cuts will disappear, and this bums me out. The tax cuts for the “rich” have meant several thousand dollars a year to me. I’m not rich.
• Embryonic stem cell research. Welcome to babies being made to be killed. The research hasn’t proven any sucess.Impeachment
• of Bush? I think I mentioned this in an earlier post, but one of the reasons 9/11 happened is because Americans were to wrapped up in a blue dress. I remember Clinton bombing a plant owned by Osama and we criticized him. We wouldn’t let him do his job. Now we won’t let Bush do his.
• Gay marriage? Luckily 27 states have constitutional amendments to prevent it.
• NAMBLA? Many San Francisco (including Pelosi) democrats have been in parades with NAMBLA. You not know what NAMBLA is? North American Man/Boy Love Association.

But God is in control and conservative republicans are breeding faster than liberal democrats.

I had the opportunity to do communion today. It was emotional, as it was based on the adoption of our son. I had a chance to thank some people that meant a lot to me. Several of the folks that I wanted to thank were able to come to church. But just because I didn’t mention you or you weren’t at the church to hear me, doesn’t mean that you didn’t help me.

Going through the adoption was such an emotional roller coaster, I’m glad the ride is over :-)

10-01-06_communion.mp3 (2.60 mb)

Well now that I'm back to blogging, it is official. We have been able to officially adopt Collin!

It was a long day on Wednesday, but it is finished! So my family has officially grown by 1 yet again.

Why adultery (emotional or physical) makes no sense. Some events of the past few months made me think about a couple that was once close to my family. This family fell apart, both husband and wife committed adultery. This then made me think about why adultery makes no sense.

First off I want to define adultery as a bit more then one where you sleep around. Jesus defined even lust as adultery. But I just want to define it as making a connection (either emotionally or sexually) with another person, especially one where you wouldnt feel comfortable with your spouse looking on. Ive had several girl friends over the years, and this was always the test I would use. If I felt ashamed involving my wife in the friendship then it isnt healthy.

But onto my main topic, why adultery makes no sense:

1. Your view of the other person is not complete.
You dont really know the other person, and they dont know you. You have an ideal picture of that person. Where as your spouse you have a whole picture. You know their negatives very well. The negatives tend to overshadow the positives because they hurt so much.

2. If they would cheat with you, they would cheat on you.
Think about it, they have already shown that a vow of marriage or a relationship has little value to them. So what happens when their view of you becomes more complete, and they start seeing your negatives over your positives? They will find somebody else, and move on. Then at this point, you are without your first relationship and without your second one. And you probably lost a lot of friends along the way who were disgusted by your behavior.

So what is the solution? Work on your current relationship. If you have already gone down this path, confess it. The truth is that most spouses will forgive adultery the first time around (and many times after that really). But a relationship built on a lie isnt worth having anyways. Plus the other person probably knows they didnt help the situation. Everybody in a relationship generally has some part in a broken relationship. If you havent gone down this path, then do whatever it takes to turn your relationship around.

Ive seen the devastating effects of divorce on families. Ive seen the children have their lives turned upside down.

When it comes to how Christians choose what friends to have I see us as having two dynamics we must take into consideration. And if you’ve enjoyed my last two post, take the time to read this entire post I have some good stuff near the bottom.

1. Bad company corrupts good character.
Are your friends a good influence on you? Would you include your strong Christian friends in when you are around this “bad” friend? Or would you be embarrassed to take them with you? Do your friends make you a more wholesome person? Do they make you more Christ like (and even your non-Christian friends can make you more Christ like, more on that later). In the end you need to look at your conscience. If you would feel fine standing up at church and showing everybody what you did with this friend, then your probably fine. But if you would be ashamed to share the events of the time with them, then you’re probably in an unhealthy relationship for you. The next place you need to evaluate is how it affects your family and close friends. If your friends make the people who are close to you uncomfortable, then they probably see something you don’t. They generally know you better than you know yourself. And if your married you really need to put your spouses feelings above your own. If a friend really makes your spouse uncomfortable, then love them. Let that friend go. Now the balance here is to make sure you’re not enabling a jealous attitude. When in doubt ask some of your other Christian friends. See if they have the same hesitation about that friendship, at that point your spouse is probably on to something you don’t see.

2. We need to “Get God on the sinners.”
We need to hang around sinners to spread God to them. The questions you have to ask yourself here are something like: Am I able to hold to my convictions while around this person? Do you call them higher, instead of them pulling you lower? If your character or moral convictions aren’t quite strong enough to counter the life style of this friend then you need to protect yourself and pull away from that friendship.

The couple I referenced in an earlier post had an issue like this. The wife started going to the bar after work with her friends. But she didn’t have the moral conviction to do this. The end result was a pregnancy from an adulterous relationship! I still remember the call I got from this friend like it was yesterday. She had to confess it to somebody, to get it out in the light. I remember sitting down with this couple and a few friends and her having to tell her husband that she was pregnant. They had other children that just had their lives ruined. And I know somebody reading this is saying, this isn’t me. I am different. But it is you, you are not different. Satan is smarter than all of us, he knows our weakness’ and strengths. Don’t think you can outsmart him. And frankly who knows, God may be allowing Satan to have his way with you as he did to Job. God may be teaching you a lesson for living outside of his will. But with God inside you, you are greater than satan.

I know some of you are thinking I am saying you can’t have fun, FAR from it! If you can go to a bar or club as a designated driver and be Jesus to them then do it, I am not even opposed to the occasional drink. Be that example, show that you can go to a bar or club and have some fun and not get drunk in the process.

Now then there are some places a Christian just shouldn’t go. But by saying no you are standing up for Jesus, and what he did on a cross. I remember at my first job I was a young Christian, and I worked in a very rough factory. The people were just lacking morals. At first I got invited to many things (either overtly asking, or by including me in a conversation as things were planned), from strip clubs to doing drugs. But I said no. I told them why I couldn’t go, and eventually the invitations stopped coming. But you know what replaced those invitations, was conversations about my God. By not joining them in their activities it allowed me to get some God on them later on. Had I followed along, I would have lost that chance. What chances to spread God’s message are you losing? Are you helping your friends’ path to hell?

So think about your friends and ask three questions:
1. Do they make me a better person in the eyes of God?
2. Do I make them a better person in the eyes of God?
3. Do I put God in a good light when I am around this person?

If you answer no to any of these, then you know what you need to do. That friendship isn’t healthy for you go find some friends that can at least make the answers to 1 and 3 into YES.

Being content in life.
A warning from the start. This is a long blog, but worth the read if you are finding life a little disappointing.

A few months ago, Apple gave away a free song from a singer named Ashley Monroe called “Satisfied.” The song really makes a good point in life.

It talks about how nobody seems to ever be satisfied with the mate they have, and they keep looking on to the next best option. Or they live miserable in their current relationship. So I want to go over three scriptures and then I will have a conclusion at the bottom (be sure to read that).

But the great book of the Bible gives us three scriptures that deal directly with contentment.

1. Philippians 4:11-13
I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength.

What a great scripture. I couldn’t have put it better, really our life outside of Christ is just icing on the cake. God is enough to help you do everything.

2. 1 Timothy 6:6-10
But godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing into the world, and we can take nothing out of it. But if we have food and clothing, we will be content with that. People who want to get rich fall into temptation and a trap and into many foolish and harmful desires that plunge men into ruin and destruction. For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil. Some people, eager for money, have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs.

Now this scripture mainly deals with money, but can easily be applied to other areas in life. Maybe its another relationship, job, or church family. Put those items in their, what does it lead to? Ruin and destruction.

3. Hebrews 13:4-5a
Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral. Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have,

BINGO! Look at the first scripture, it talks about the marriage bed being kept pure and then contentment. I wonder if this ties into sleeping around for a better spouse. Some women (and in the Jewish culture it would have to be a women here) I am sure tried to climb the social ladder, just as they do now because they weren’t content in their current situation.

So what do we have here? A call to contentment; I’ve seen this in my own life. I had my children young (18 years old, and 3 by time I was 23). I had to let go of a life of partying and hanging out for all hours. I had to accept my role as a father and a husband. I had to learn to be content with this, knowing that the call to be a father and a husband has a much greater reward than any night out could ever offer. As I see my children and wife (and myself) grow in love and in the Lord, it makes me smile. Just last year we were given a baby boy. This child has brought out the best part of my family. All of us has accepted him as our own, and now my family would feel incomplete without him around.

So yes I had to let go of what could have been, but embrace what is. That embracement has changed my life, I could have been a bitter man and ended up divorced ruining the lifes of 4 people, and also ruining the chance for redemption that our new baby boy now has in our home. So ask yourself, what would you “ruin and destroy” as the second scripture states, if you followed your desires? Would it be worth it? Could you tell the folks you would ruin and destroy that you chose that desire over them? Could you live with the consequences? The consequences can be harsh. I have a friend who’s dad has chosen a desire over her. Their relationship is forever changed. Think about your life, have you had somebody close to you choose desire over you? How is that relationship now? Do you want to do the same to others?

Learn to get your joy out of your current situation, it is there you just have to change the way you look at it.